23 Apr 2015

"There’s something about being the last one up while the house is in darkness, apart from the small yellow flicker of my desk lamp, as I type random word documents of nonsense in the early hours of the morning that I love. There’s something about hearing nothing but the tap tap tapping of my keyboard keys and the hum of the laptop churning that some how makes me feel calm and somehow better about things.
Some late nights I stay up and spew sentences that have come to my head in my over thinking state that I just want to write and I carry on writing-going off on a tangent for, sometimes, an hour- filling page upon page with jumbled up thoughts that have filled my head but now filling my laptop’s memory. 
Other nights I sit and I know there’s things in there I want to write about but I can’t find the right way to form coherent sentences out of them so I sit there with the screen’s brightness shining on my face waiting for something to come to me so that I can type it out. Sometimes I’ll sit there and nothing will come and I’ll end up just shutting the laptop screen, tucking myself into bed and trying to sleep again.
But there’s something about the unprecedented words that come to mind late at night and the urgency I feel to get the thoughts inside of me out now before the morning that I feel are my best words because they are truthful and uncalculated.
This is exactly what I’m doing now and it’s not something I've shared with others before because who cares right? But I hope that one day these jumbled paragraphs can be the making of a project. Something that won’t be a stand alone computer file but a folder of chapters that I want to be heard and not something I just share with my hard drive."

The above is something I wrote late one night back in March I think- I posted it on Tumblr but I thought I would include it in this post also as it shares some thoughts and feelings that I wanted to share in this post and that is that I want to write. I want to write stories- short & long. Of all genres- anything that grabs my attention and that I want to write. I am writing up this post late on a Monday night, before the stress of exams really begins, with my notebook filled with many writing projects I've started but remain unfinished. I'm starting to write again and it's turning into something I'm a lot more proud of and would like to share. 
So,I'm writing this before my exams and I writing this now to say that, once there over, I plan on writing throughout the weeks I have before I go to China and my induction into the second college year. Then, once that's over, I plan on picking up a pen or opening up a word document and carrying on in attempt to actually finish a project that I have started and finished or am close to finishing. 

The thing is, I know that if I just start this writing journey on my own like I have in the past, it will end in disappointment and I'd love to know that maybe one of you are up for reading some of my work and giving harsh criticism if needs be. Or maybe you're a keen writer yourself and want to be like a writing buddy I guess- helping each other and motivating each other- a bit like a mini NanoWrimo but with no strict deadlines because deadlines aren't fun and I want it to be fun!
What I am planning on doing once my exams are over is setting up a WattPad account and posting the start of one or two stories, see what is liked and then carrying on from there, posting chapters throughout the summer. This maybe a big commitment for me as usually I do fail but I want to push myself to pursue something I love and writing this post will hopefully be a motivational reminder to myself do just start writing.

Are you a keen writer yourself? Do you have any stories online I can read? I love reading work written by people my age!
Hope you're doing great, 
Sarah x
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