WHERE I'M AT: An Honest Update

10 Apr 2019

I tend to be someone who doesn’t share that I’m struggling. I’m more likely to struggle alone, work it out on my own and then maybe tell people what happened after. I’m trying to learn to be more open along the way. A problem shared is a problem halved right? 

I’m finding it hard to find the words even now to share comfortably how I am feeling. However, I thought it was worth letting you know that, while at the moment things are a little difficult, life is a little stressful, I’m not 100% focussed, motivated and myself, I’m hoping to bounce back soon. 

At the start of this year, I set myself a goal; that for each month to have a “Focus”. January was "Renew", February was "Balance" and last month, March, was "Create". I felt really motivated by these goals. Yes, I had slip ups but overall I was happy that I was really getting the most out of my year. However, March was probably the least successful. With final year stress dwelling on my mind; deadlines, exams, job hunting, my head just wasn’t as focused as I would have liked. 

As the next two months will be filled with even more life stressors as I come to the end of my degree, I think I’ll have less time to focus on certain goals and will be taking each day as it comes as I try to make it to the end of the year. So here, I thought I’d say that for now that I’ve decided to put a pause on my monthly focus. I will definitely be picking them up again once university is finished as I will be needing the motivation to focus on the future. I will also be sure to revisit Create” as a focus; I did not use last month to its full potential and I want to give myself another chance to give it ago. 

With this, it’s worth mentioning that my blog may start to look a little sparse soon. I’ve been proud to have rediscovered my love for my blog and, I don’t want to lose that. So, if I don’t have a post for each week, I won’t be pressuring myself to get one published. I hope that’s ok with you. I will still be updating my Twitter and more so my Instagram as I work through the exam stress. 

Just last week I had a small (and I mean small) health scare. While, thankfully, all results were clear, the worry I felt around this has really put a lot into perspective. I’ve realised that, while I won’t have a real focus for the next few months other than my degree,  I will be focussing on myself.  I’ve realised that I should really be doing everything I can to put myself first; not force myself to do anything I don’t want and not put myself in situations I’ll feel uncomfortable in. I shouldn’t surround myself with people who don’t make me feel like the best version of me (sorry for the cheese). I should be surrounding myself with people I adore and who make me feel happy even when things get a little tough. 

These next few months, I feel a lot is going to be thrown my way and, honestly, I’m not ready. But am I going to give it my best shot at getting through? Of course, I am! And, I’ll be sure to let you know how I come out the other side when it’s all over. 

Hope you’re doing great, 
Sarah x

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