I’m finding it hard to find the words even now to share comfortably how I am feeling. However, I thought it was worth letting you know that, while at the moment things are a little difficult, life is a little stressful, I’m not 100% focussed, motivated and myself, I’m hoping to bounce back soon.
At the start of this year, I set myself a goal; that for each month to have a “Focus”. January was "Renew", February was "Balance" and last month, March, was "Create". I felt really motivated by these goals. Yes, I had slip ups but overall I was happy that I was really getting the most out of my year. However, March was probably the least successful. With final year stress dwelling on my mind; deadlines, exams, job hunting, my head just wasn’t as focused as I would have liked.
As the next two months will be filled with even more life stressors as I come to the end of my degree, I think I’ll have less time to focus on certain goals and will be taking each day as it comes as I try to make it to the end of the year. So here, I thought I’d say that for now that I’ve decided to put a pause on my monthly focus. I will definitely be picking them up again once university is finished as I will be needing the motivation to focus on the future. I will also be sure to revisit “Create” as a focus; I did not use last month to its full potential and I want to give myself another chance to give it ago.
With this, it’s worth mentioning that my blog may start to look a little sparse soon. I’ve been proud to have rediscovered my love for my blog and, I don’t want to lose that. So, if I don’t have a post for each week, I won’t be pressuring myself to get one published. I hope that’s ok with you. I will still be updating my Twitter and more so my Instagram as I work through the exam stress.
Just last week I had a small (and I mean small) health scare. While, thankfully, all results were clear, the worry I felt around this has really put a lot into perspective. I’ve realised that, while I won’t have a real focus for the next few months other than my degree, I will be focussing on myself. I’ve realised that I should really be doing everything I can to put myself first; not force myself to do anything I don’t want and not put myself in situations I’ll feel uncomfortable in. I shouldn’t surround myself with people who don’t make me feel like the best version of me (sorry for the cheese). I should be surrounding myself with people I adore and who make me feel happy even when things get a little tough.
These next few months, I feel a lot is going to be thrown my way and, honestly, I’m not ready. But am I going to give it my best shot at getting through? Of course, I am! And, I’ll be sure to let you know how I come out the other side when it’s all over.
Hope you’re doing great,
Sarah x
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