I'll admit it. I'm out of ideas. I've tried to plough through and I can't. It's only March and I'm already struggling and feeling burnt out so I'm just going to run it all down for you.
I have been here on my little space of the internet for four years and I feel like I'm just repeating myself when I say I love my little audience; seeing the same people comment on my posts, it's like we're friends. But while I've been loving life on the small scale, blogs starting years after me have managed to saw with in months and already seemed to have quite their jobs and are blogging full time. While that is not the aim for me, it's slightly disheartening to see me still back in 2012.
I'll admit it. It's jealousy. Seeing these bloggers do amazingly well; I'm so happy for them all but then I can't help but think over and over again what is it I'm doing wrong? Is it because I've not got my niche? Is it what I post? When I post? Or is it just me?
I can't lie and say numbers don't matter. There was a time when they didn't and up until recently it's been that way but as I've started to struggle to find some originality in what I post, I've found myself almost obsessing as to how my posts are affecting my numbers. I don't want that.
I've never really known what to post in this little space meaning I've not got one of those niche things everyone talks about. I'm just me. I've grown to hate when I open a post on blogging advice and the first line is "find your niche!!" because I think that's how I need to grow. I need to categorise my blog and stick with that but I can't do that. I'm a bit of an all over the place person. I think that might be one thing that's held me back- no one knows what my blog really is about.
As my blog is super close to hitting 200 followers on bloglovin', I'm ready to celebrate but at the same time I'm left confused as to what the hell my blog is doing and where it's going and, sadly, I feel like my faith in blogging and my passion for writing here is disappearing.
I don't want that and I think the only remedy is to relieve the pressure. I've already mentioned taking a break but I think that's going to have to be extended because I no longer want to post something that I don't actually really want to.
What does this mean? Well, my posts are going to become irregular. I'm going to just post when I'm free, when I've had an idea that I want to run with whether that be book related, beauty related, anything related. This means I might be posting tomorrow or not till next week. I think I've finally decided that in order to move forward with my blog I actually need to take a step back.
I feel like the length of this little ramble is a little long and really what I'm saying is a bit dramatic but I hope, while writing this at 2am, that I've managed to get my point across (I'm talking to you redrafting Sarah at 10 am). With my posts becoming more irregular, I'd definitely suggest following me on bloglovin' or twitter where my posts will be linked- the links are on the right of my blog.
All I want to say is how much I do love the people who take the time to read my jumbled up blog and take the time to comment. I hope you understand that I love what I do on this blog and I want to carry it on but maybe for me to get where I want to be and have ideas coming out of my mind left right and centre, I think I need to change things up a little.
Thanks,
Sarah x
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