13 Feb 2016

There's something about being the last one up while the house is in darkness apart from the small yellow flicker of my desk lamp as I type random word documents of nonsense in the early hours of the morning, that I love.

There's something about hearing nothing but the tap tap tapping of my keyboard keys and the hum of the laptop churning that some how makes me feel calm and somehow better about things.

Some late nights I stay up and spew sentences that have come to my head in my over thinking state that I just want to write and I carry on writing,going off on a tangent for, sometimes, an hour. Filling page upon page with jumbled up thoughts that have filled my head but now filling my laptop's memory.

 Other nights I sit and I know there's things in there I want to write about, but I can't find the right way to write them but I sit there with the screen's brightness shining on my face waiting for something to come to me so that I can type it out.

Sometimes I'll sit there and nothing will come and I'll end up just shutting the laptop screen, tucking myself into bed and trying to sleep again.

But there's something about the  unprecedented words that come to mind late at night and the urgency I feel to get the thoughts inside of me out now before the morning.

This is exactly what I'm doing now and it's not something I've shared with others before because who cares right? But I hope that one day these jumbled paragraphs can be the making of a project. Something that won't be a stand alone computer file but a folder of chapters that I want to be heard and not something I just share with my hard drive.

Sarah x

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