31 Aug 2015

 Let's start with some definitions.

ALONE (adjective & adverb)- having no one else present; one one's own

"She was alone that evening"

LONELY (adjective)- sad because one has no friends or company

"lonely old people whose families don't care for them" 

Connections can be made between both the words above but one thing I tend to disagre with is "alone" being a synonym for "lonely". You see, I like being alone. Sitting in my round surrounded by only the company of a good book or the sweet sound of my favourite bands. 

I find things easier when I'm alone- there a less complications when I'm on my own. I feel I can follow my own rules and approaches do different circumstances. I find joy in my own company a lot more than most; I mean, you can't trust anyone more than yourself-right? I'd rather work through problems alone and only have myself to blame for the outcome. 

Sometimes being surrounded by friends and people I love can be when I feel the most lonely pushing myself to be alone- in the comfort of myself. 

I like drinking alone and reading alone. I like riding the train alone then walking home alone. It's something about being in my own company that sets my mind free whether it's eating alone or watching a film alone. 
But then, when I see a mother playing hide and seek with her child in the park, a happy couple together hand in hand or overhearing two best friends laughing and gossiping I come to the realisation that while I like being alone, I don't fancy being lonely. 

I don't want to spend too much time alone because that can lead to opening gates of a lonely place I don't ever want to revisit. Sometimes being lonely isn't always the best thing and sometimes it might be good if I just let someone in.

I am a reserved person- no doubt about it- but that doesn't mean that every once in a while I don't need to be with a friend or even a stranger that, somehow, no loger makes me feel lonely. Sometime I need to left some of the weight off my shoulders and not be alone any more because I do't want to be lonely.

I like being alone but I don't want to be lonely. 

Sarah x

Post a Comment